something that stresses me...

Well I thought about this one all day and I was trying so hard to think of something witty or comical or a story I can share but alas my creative brain is on hiatius tonight so heres what I came up with- nothing to great just day to day stuff- but Im sure in 10 years I'll read this and laugh.
I stress when I am late to things- I really don't like to be late. I make fun of my father in law because he pushes the limits of time to the max- that man can talk anyone into letting him on a closed airplane. He misses more flights and has close calls than anyone I know and I love giving him a hard time about it.

I stress when I look at my house and think did I not just clean you and do 4 loads of laundry of which have 18 pairs of little boy underwear. I have way too much laundry. I'm so glad Brandon is great at Laundry- he knows how to fold like a pro! I admit its not my strength at all!  Also as a side note Have I mentioned how cute the boys  butts look in underwear- little superheroes I tell you. And we bought them little boxers oh so funny!
 I stress when I look at my carpet- weird I know but it is trashed- totally trashed. Even though we've had the carpets cleaned crumbs and windex and "other things" still cover my carpet. Anyone have a rumba?  I would seriously love to try one of those bad boys.
I stress about treating my body right
I stress about treating my boys fairly- that they get equal time with me it's hard. I hate nap time every day- not being able to be with both of them when they call out my name is painful. I want them to know I love them both as individuals.

I stress about Brandon and I and our relationship if he knows how much I still adore him and hanging out with him and if he knows I still watch him when he's not looking. Even today he's just sitting across from me with a hoodie on. It reminds me of Being at school with him. And how much I just love who he is. Relaxed Down to earth Sincere Kind and Ruggedly Handsome. I think he has the tall dark and handsome thing covered.I worry If he knows this after 3 kids.  
I stress about finishing school.  Sometimes I just have to remember it's not my timing. I'll finish. It's just taking forever.

twin talk

Soo we've been going through a rough patch lately with little Harrison.
When you have twins it's very easy to compare one twin with the other. And its easy for people to point out differences in our boys- yes we know they are complete 180's from each other - ones talkative and ones not- ones chill and the other one....not so much we hear this all the time and thats ok
 I guess what people don't see is what they are like 24/7.  Their twin talk.  Why we understand them as parents. And why we know why they are like this.They can understand each other- call each other by name in their own little language- and I have no clue what's happening. And thats ok and normal they are fraternal twins- like brothers just born at the same time.  people ask...they are the same age shouldn't they be doing the same things?  Having had Harrison in the NICU they warned me he could be a little behind  in some aspects being premature and not to compare with other kids It looks like language is the first barrier I have to work with.
The only problem is when you have one twin thats a chatty cathy and will not let the other one talk or answer questions or finish a sentence. Or when you see they have their own language together. It's hard to tell what they should and shouldn't be doing. I believe each child is different and needs their own time to develop. It's just getting difficult to see our child so frustrated
I wish I could divide myself in 3 so each of my kids got the one on one time they need with me.  It dosnt feel fair that I cant do that and have never been able to have one on one time with them for longer than a couple hours. I would give anything for that- so they know they are loved individually.
 I read books for what seems like hours to help him with his language. And I feel like its working. I just feel awful about how harrison is so frustrated- tantrum frustrated. That he cant communicate what he wants to me. He's been getting better he can tell me things now instead of just pointing.  big step from a month ago -I wan juu- I want juice.wa ra ra go- where did greyson go? I know he understands everything I say to him- I can ask him to go get me his cup/truck ect and he'll bring it to me. 
It's just telling me what he wants thats a struggle and his twin talk with greyson makes it even harder- when greyson will tell me what he wants. 
Also It's hard to remember to ask them things individually. Greyson go get your socks on. Harrison please go get your socks. Thank you greyson for putting your socks on. Thanks you harrison for putting your socks on. Im exhausted. I'm frustrated. And I feel so sad for him. Cried every day this week. It's been hard.These tantrums are rough
Not that anyone needs to hear my sad sob story- everyone goes through stuff I realize that and this is nothing compared to what others have -everyone has trials.  Maybe it's to teach me something I need to learn. Maybe it's not for him it's for me. I don't know I just feel like its my fault for not doing enough with him individually.and for some reason this little obsticle has benn extra taxing on me right now.3 really little kids is a lot of work.Any other twin moms out there? Any advice? Did you have a dominant speaker? 

Cute things the boys have done and said lately...

1. When we watch cars and Mac the truck is making faces in his reflection greyson copies him- he also copies lightning wen hes flying in the opening race he sticks out his tongue and wiggles it like mcqueen- Brandon and I laugh our heads off its beyond hilarious.
2. The boys waving bye bye and saying bye bye to the backyardigans at the very end when they sing the good bye song
3-Greyson putting the word big before everything he saysbig juicebig cheesebig car
4- When Debbie asks all of the animal noises- she also asks Greyson what noise grandma makes to which he always does AHHHHHH- this is funny because debbie does scream lots- when she's scared excited-they've been used to her screaming since they were a week old- plus it makes debbie laugh pretty hard to know that grandmas say ahhhhhhh!
5- Harrison knowing which street pa pa lives on- he gets really mad when we don't stop fast enough and open up the van doors and gets really excited when we turn onto their street
6-Each of them calling each other ra ra- to Greyson it means Harrison to Harrison it means brother7- Harrison dosn't want to take Brandons toque off- he loves hats- it remind Brandon of hi Brother Barrett always wearing his cubs hat when they were little
8- They love to sing the primary songs-Greyson shakes his hand on it wasn't really so but it seemed to be- they also love sleeping bunnies - once there was a snowman london bridges and ring around the rosies- they always clap for themselves after and say yay!
9- We laugh at the fact that Grandma and Grandpa have to sneak out the back doors so the boys don't know they are leaving- they are quite attached to people latley - I picked Greyson up from brookes last week and he bawled when he had to leave kept saying brookkkkeee jetttttt!!! It was super sweet to see how much he loves them.
10-Them actually sitting on a mat and watching cars- all the sudden one day they were able to sit and watch a movie all the way through- Brandon and I were like what happened! They can watch movies now?

Happy 2nd Birthday Boys!

April 1st 2010-

It's amazing what two years looks like. I love that they were born on April Fools day- it fits them to a t! My little sneaky boys!

I love you Greyson for making me laugh I love you Harrison for teaching me things about myself I never knew. And even though you were born on the same day and you have to share- you are both so different in every way possible. I want you to know you are unique and loved for being you. I will forever sing you happy birthday separately not buy you the same gifts. Try and refer to you by your name individually instead of "the twins" I hope you grow up and feel that love as an individual from your mother- even though you've had to share your time with me and dad. You both have a kinship with each other that I can't explain. You get very concerned for each other and are together almost all the time. I hope you love having a twin-I always think you two loved each other so much the man couldn't bare to separate you- so you came down together.

Happy Birthday my toddlers!

April 1st 2009

I think they look so tiny here

April 1st 2008

ok technically this was 2 weeks after- harrison was in the

nicu this is when they came home together- but it's a cuter picture! they are so tiny!

whisper whisper whisper

So lately I've been waking up with my boys and teaching them to say morning prayers- they've caught on quickly and it's now there favorite thing to do ....all day long....they literally walk around the house with their arms folded and go whisper whisper whisper and then they shout AMEN!!!!

I just love when they catch onto things. It's amazing how much they learn so quickly.

The haze has lifted

I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. The lack of sleep and exhaustion of trying to take care of three very little ones has worn on me heavily the last month and there were moments I thought I couldn't make it till 5 pm when Brandon walks through that beautiful door downstairs. But the hormones have leveled and I'm starting to get a system down on how I handle three under 2 at the same time. I have a new appreciation for mothers of high order multiples. And mothers with multiple children close in age. I don't know how they do it. They are my heroes.
Part of me is still scared to attempt going out with 3 of them. I have a double stroller- and my boys arn't that great at following me yet. One of them has to walk cause Chloes in the stroller now. We attempted the park and did ok. Maybe we'll have to try the store this week. I miss being able to be mobile. It's hard for me I feel my independence being lost just a little. It's teaching me to ask for help. To humble myself. I know it will get easier and already I'm feeling better about handling all 3. All I can say is that I'm greatful for great friends family Brandon and the sunshine- it helps heal me. Oh my Brandon who personally cheers me on every day. Don't know how I got him.

37 weeks 4 days

Can you tell whos who?

This was exactly how far along I was when the boys were born. Full term for twins was very uncomfortable I spent half my life in the bath tub- this pregnancy has been so much easier. I'm so grateful I've been able to enjoy it a little more. I still remember waking up that day and not being nervous at all because I was so excited the Drs were going to take care of me and the pain would finally go away.
I know gross stomach- but the black lines were actually veins not stretch marks- amazing eh? I have no idea how I got away with that. Thanks mom and dad for giving me great skin!
So anyways I was just thinking about them today remembering how small they were how fresh- how they smelled there hair- how shocked I was that Harrisons eye color turned brown so fast. Dealing with those first few days in the NICU being so scared for Harrison. Grateful I could touch Greyson. I remember How Brandon almost never left the nicu- he held Harrisons finger and took pictures for me until I could be wheeled to the NICU. It was a whirlwind of emotion love and no sleep. Literally a blur for us the first 3 months. The other picture is of the boys first time being together without any monitors tubes and oxygen on the ra ra. they held each others hands. It was super sweet. Just reminiscing. trying to remember what a newborn is like. And how Much love I have for my babies. They truly bring me what true joy is. I can't believe they were that tiny. As they sit here next to me showing me car cars and bringing me there fish puzzle that we take apart every morning. I'm so excited to hold my daughter and meet her little spirit.

Boys 1st haircuts

Well besides Harrison's NICU shave -

We took them to a place called Beaners that specializes in cutting kids hair-you get sit in a car or animal-they give you colored gel or sparkles, they have a ball pit-basically its just awesome-and for their 1st haircut they gave them a little memento of their hair laminated- so cute!Anyways neither one of them seemed too thrilled to be there-unless they were sitting with dadand until after their hair was cut-then it was fun to sit on animals and play with the cars-oh well next time they'll probably love it.Harrison looks so big now!Greyson's was just a trim but don't they look handsome!

he really wanted that car

eating suckers after the traumatic experience

look how long his hair is wet!

not a happy camper-even when daddy holds him hes not ok until he gets 5 combs to play with

not thrilled either!

some of his combs

arn't we handsome!!

This is why they call it a twin bed...

We're officially out of cribs- the only problem was that it was more of an adjustment than Brandon and I thought it would be. We wanted to transition them before the baby came- and I have a feeling they weren't quite ready. We've gone through two and a half weeks of no napping cranky boys who also don't want to go to sleep at night. Then after being totally frustrated and dying for some sleep at night.

Brandon had a great idea-

maybe they'll feel safer if they sleep together

...sure enough..

they slept through the night

-once they were cuddled together-

is not sweet!

I cried- partially out of gratefulness and that it was just so tender.

Big boy room is being redone and so is the babies room- I'll post pictures as soon as I get some help moving furniture and painting some walls.

but mom my brovers in there!

Greyson wasnt feeling well tonight I'd just put them in jammies and he threw up all over me...so I put him in the tub and start cleaning up the hallway floor which is right outside the bathroom and myself- harrison saw that greyson was in the tub I pushed him into the bonus room and kept scrubbing the now purple carpet and my pants/shirt- purple tylenol- not good- anyways I look up to see if the water is getting to where I needed to stop it

and.......harrison missed his brother so much he snuck in right behind me somehow and got in the tub with all his clothes on! I didn't even know he could get into the tub by himself! That kid loves the water soo much and didnt want to miss out on the fun. I got mad at first cause id spent 20 minutes finding them jammies and changing both of them and within 10 minutes id ave to do it again- but then harrison looked up smiled and started splashing and laughing- it was so cute I just laughed and laughed.

latest and greatest in boy hilariousness

This is what happens when grandma comes and you don't want to take a nap....

Harrison was concerned and kept pointing to greyson and saying uh uh uh

we took him out he went over and checked on him- lifted up his arms and swung them

that didn't work so ....he tried sitting on him

MOM WHY ISN"T THIS WORKING I MISS MY BROVER!

into everything

Oh my boys have been uber cute this week I just wanted to document what they've done thats made me and Brandon smile.

First they found the diaper box and thought it was a fun hiding spot- I have almost an exact picture of me in a box like this and I'm Harrisons twin- Brandon has one of him in a box and looks like Greysons twin- ill have to see if I can find those later.

Greyson loves putting this waste basket on his head he'll walk around for hours with it on- its hilarious he'll stick his fingers out and touch you and laugh- crazy boy.

The new Black eyed peas song I got a feeling- We turn that on and they both go bizirk turn around in circles swing their arms- Ive never seen anything that entertaining-and Greyson makes his eyes go big gets all stiff and kind've does the robot-I don't know how but I die laughing at his cuteness. Harrison will bounce to the timing and nod his head really big. I'm still trying to get an awesome video of this.

The other day I asked greyson to bring me his bottle and he did I almost wept with joy- communication has been established!

Their words include...light- oh man Im so sick of lights in my house

harrison says ball and bottle, diaper 123 and thank you and

Greyson says car car ,room uh oh, and thank you.

We also went to the store this week and made the mistake of walking down the toy aisle- Greyson reached for a big yellow car and harrison found a baby laptop- when we tried to take them away it wasn't a pretty sight- at least we know what to get them for christmas!

I can just tell there learning a lot lately and they've been super good for me.

and.. greysons finally getting hair..it's dark!

new blogola...

It's fall and I decided summer is definitely gone- I can feel the crisp calgary afternoons -have turned on my furnace and am watching the leaves turn in fish creek park-beautiful I must say- I love watching that happen every year I've been in calgary so far. Also flu season is back I've been sicker than a dog- really I don't remember a time where I remember being this sick- along with my boys for the past week. Thanks to anyone whos come to my rescue with cough drops- apple juice- lysol-dinner- and chocolate- I have amazing friends and family. It's mega hard when your toddlers can't tell you what they want and you just feel horrible that they feel the way you do- downright cruddy. So what do you do when you have some down time being sick- besides procrastinate your homework...my dear friend comes and saves me from boredom.... and voila... updated the blogola gets- thanks to my amazingly talented friend Keshia I now have a fun new look perfect to get me into the fall mood. I heart her so and her mad skills. She also wanted me to let everyone know that she is starting to make blog designs- and is giving away a free customized blog design! So go to her link on my sidebar and enter her giveaway!- it's easy just post her button to your blog then let her know you did!

The boys are crazy today

{I miss this a lot today}

Does anyone else ever have those days where you just think you might break down- today is one of those days. I love my boys but they are seriously into everything- and as much as things are baby proof with one- its not always so with two little minds working togetherExample 1: they knock the baby gate down together so when I go to take a shower all i hear is pounding on the door and wails of why did you leave us mom!
Example 2: together they can open up our entertainment center- that has no handles get into the dvds take them all out of the cases and scratch them-{Brandon not impressed} in seriously under 5 minutes- It's like I can't leave them for 2 seconds- they also find every toilet paper roll in our house and destroy it to shreds or they rip up there own wipesso i have a 1/4 square to wipe- so aggravating.or books or take everything off of the shelves in the office- climb on the table knock over my vase -get my spoon and leftover milk from the cereal I'm eating and fling it all over my computer. uggghh!!!!
Example 3: Ill be changing one of them which is already hard and the other will take away my wipes and diapers- don't know why they think this is funny but it is.
They are driving me nuts- they never ever stop!!!and I won't start on my poor floors and carpets- they dumped out a windex bottle last week- I now have a huge blue stain on my carpet- and there is a constant dump below there high chairs that I'm so sick of cleaning I could scream.
I know they will start to understand things soon- but could it please come a little sooner- they work as a team and I'm outnumbered.Brandon and I need a vacation alone for about two weeks to maybe get our energy level back to normal. We're exhausted...