He wanted me to eat with him

I made Harrison lunch today.... everyone else was asleep in the house So I make him his meal and go upstairs to clean up some toys...he yelled my name ran upstairs grabbed my hand and brought me downstairs where he made me sit in the chair next to him.warmed my heart I cried He's never done that before he's said mamma but never really like Hey I want you to just come be with me.. 
Also great news today we got into a really amazing school called renfrew that is going to take both of the boys.. we thought they might only take Harrison.. they will be picking them up for me  5 days a weekwow what a huge blessing to me ! 2 hours every day to run errands pull myself together be with cocoit's 5 days a week For Harrison Greyson will only go for 4 so Fridays can be greyson day..all of this is coming together so I feel like I have equal time with my kids Huge relief to me.. I want nobody to feel more loved than another or like they get more time ect
...it will be weird not having them with me all day every day.. I'm having mixed emotions about it..but I know it will be wonderful.. the boys will love playing and learningthey have this amazing sensory room for kids on the spectrum it's dark with little lights and colorful bubble tanks ect..this room is something they'd use to calm a child down with sensory problems..They prob wouldn't use it for Harrison as his sensory stuff is really good but both my boys loved that room as well as the ball/tumbling room. They both didn't want to leave
 The teachers there are trained to work with kids on the spectrum  half of the class is typical kids.. the other half ones with speech problems learning disabilities..spectrum kids ect... The very thought that we have a place like this is hugeee..So they'd work with harrison on his social skills and his speech those are the areas he struggles in
 I've heard of so many people that do this training by themselves because it's few and far between to find a place this awesome. Thank you Calgary! Thank you Alberta!
 And not everyone who applies gets in..esp if they are trying to get 2 spots So today I am once again humbled and reminded that someone 's got my backFor the blessings this week. For the hope that came back to me today- that with all this work and amazing people we can help our child recover from his autism. Early intervention is huge!!!!!!!!My heart is full to my Father in Heaven for taking care of me and my little family. Can you feel the love people! I feel like a crying hippie
 So full my heart is...{sorry I couldn't resist the yoda within me}
 So greatful for hidden blessings in the midst of darkness.
And while some days it's still hard to wake up and remember That my life is now different I'm grateful I have resources many do not have

one month

We made it a month from diagnosis day..and I'm still alivelife goes on

Just had an overwhelming feeling to thank every single person who has prayed for Harrison and for me and Brandon. As cheesy as it sounds.. I can feel when people pray for us. I feel warmth and almost a blanket of love in my home. And I thank you so much for doing so. I needed that overwhelming peace to come to me. Thank you for meals -getting me out of the house-ice cream muffins..gluten free stuff. I'm truly overwhelmed and my heart is ready to burst with grattitude for the love of others. We  hope we can repay everyone some day. I've learned a lot this month about acceptance and hope. and myself..and when I figure out what I want to say about it I'll let you know.
I'm still very tender but getting stronger.. because my son is getting strongerand as someone sent me a message this week I was reminded of the persepctive I have in life saying that we're the lucky ones because we'll get to see miracles happen in our home every day...
That hit me like a ton of bricks.. because it's already happening.I have a testimony of christ and that he heals..and of service and how small acts of kindness go so far.That I know my prayers have been answered through others the past month.
Thank you so much I love you all. Harrison loves you too :) Thanks for being our cheerleaders when we needed them
Oh and Don't you just love my sons choice in shoes?

Starting Gluten Free Caisen Free Diet

So I took Harrison off all gluten and dairy 3 days ago...I can not believe what is happening to my babyHe's saying new wordsHe turns his head when I walk in the room Just like he used to doresponds to his name so much betterYou can not tell me that there is not something happening hereBut I'm scared 
Is he getting enough to eat is his body ok without these things?Then I have to think about yeast and artificial colors I've reasearched it for a while and decided... ]why wouldn't I try everything I can to help my child.. If he had an allergy I wouldn't let him have these foods would I? No No I wouldn't And while it sucks to see him cry when greyson eats pizza and he can't.. I feel like it's working and in the long run Id rather have my child speak to me. Heres a great artical I found on the matter. Now for me who is an ok cook I'm a little overwhelmed. I still think much prayer will be involved deciding what to do.. but I'm going to try it for 6 months very very strictly write everything down according to his behavior./what he ate that day. Say a prayer for me because I'm scared. and overwhelmed with this.heres the website I have looked all over for optimistic sites that help me as a parent to do something and I really like this website everyday autism miracles they have podcasts to listen to that I love..from a mother -just what I needed

When your child isn't meeting all of the their developmental markers it seems counter intuitive to take away their favorite foods, maybe even cruel.  It seems that way but it isn't.  The truth is that food is sometimes part of the problem.  If your child was recently diagnosed with Autism, you may have been told there are some dietary interventions that prove very effective with some children.  You may also have been told that it doesn't work for all kids, or even that it doesn't work at all.  I can't speak for all children, but as a parent I can tell you that my child started speaking again when we took milk and wheat in all forms out of his diet.  If that isn't compelling enough, it also changed his behavior so greatly that I was able to walk down the sidewalk and hold his hand for the first time.  It was so clear in our son's case that milk and wheat made his symptoms of Autism worse that we were highly motivated to keep it out of his diet.

I remember my mother saying to me, "Isn't he ever going to get to eat ice cream?"  I looked at my chubby cheeked three year old and told her, "He can have ice cream, he just won't be able to talk or communicate for days afterward.  Ice cream is great but I'm going to choose being able to talk over ice cream."  My mother looked like I'd slapped her, but she really "got it".  I'm sure kids who have peanut allergies wonder what it's like to have a peanut butter sandwich or to eat our without fear of contamination, but who would choose peanuts over breathing? Or ice cream over speaking.  In our case it was a no brainer.  Unfortunately, it isn't always as cut and dried with other kids.

There is one efficient way that I have found to predict if your child could benefit from one of the dietary interventions for Autism:  Look at what and how your child currently eats.  Is your child addicted to colorful candy?  They don't want to eat meals they just want to snack on colorful sweets?  Chances are that your child could benefit from a version of the Feingold Diet.  Does your child live on crackers and milk, or mac and cheese and chicken nuggets?  They don't want juice, but they crave milk?  Your child is a prime candidate to improve on the gluten free, casein diet.  Is your child in love with potatoes?  French fries for lunch, tater tots for dinner, mashed potatoes at restaurants and potato chips in the car? They don't want water, but they love juice and crave fruit of all kinds? Odds are your child could benefit from at least a modified version of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  Does it all sound scary and overwhelming to you?  You aren't alone.

 I'm here to help.

If you are dealing with diagnosis you are scared sad overwhelmed go to the link above.. 

please go.. as scary as it is to look at websites believe me I know I'm just barley feeling ok looking at websites it will help I promise

I'm thankful

today for a supportive amazing husbanda best friend who really... there is no better in the worldfor her husbandfor our familiesfor visiting teachersfor amazing friendsfor heavenly fathers timingFor sending my son a twin brotherfor letting me get pregnant with coco before we had any signs from ra ra
 So long story made shortOur little ra ra got diagnosed with high functioning autism yesterday He's still my son but he has autismhe's not autistic.. that dosn't define him I cried a lot till there weren't any tears leftnot that I havn't  cried the last 6 months but I finally had an answer and something to go off of  I knew it was coming. I let go and let my heavenly father take charge. and as soon as I did things became clear and I felt strength flow into my body.I know this is happening for a reason and he thinks we can do it so we're gonna flow with it.  and I'd braced myself But it still hurts. 
It's going to be a long couple of years doing early interventionWhat's good is that he is at the high end of the spectrum he talks.. he cuddles..he gives ok eye contact...  and has no repetitive behaviors.  And we just happen to live in the best city besides los angeles for autsim programs. They define it as a neurological disorder where the building bridges of his brain just arn't all the way formed ..so we get to be bridge builders the next couple years  so with lots and lots and lots of therapy and behavior patterning we can connect his brain bridges.My theory on how it happened... it's genetics maybe an auto immune disease.. that was triggered by something either environmental or while he was in the nicu having a lack of oxygen to his brain

so later in life he might just be the shyer kid with some quirks you all know someone like that right think sheldon on big bang theorynothing I don't like ...;)
It's overwhelming all the changes my little family will be going through the next year.I Think I still have hope.. just a different kind... I'm trying to pull through the haze 
It's overwhelming at this stage knowing I will have a team of 4 people in my house very single day for the next 3 years doing intensive therapy on himNot going to lie when I say I'm not sure how I feel about itI hope I have time for my other kids and I learn to balance everything in my life
 I hope that My heavenly father will lift me make me strong that he'll help inspire me as to what I need to do for harrison on his road to recovery and being the best person he can be- 

 I Hope I can educate people about autism. Be a voice for my son. So many people think of something so awful when they hear the word.. I know I did. I was wrong
 There are many things people can do to help it be less severe.. esp if its high functioning and you catch it early to help teach them things when there brains are the most capable of learning
He's not cold he shows love.. kisses me hugs me- he expresses emotion..basically he just learns in a different way and can concentrate really hard on things or be very non interested in things. He needs help with social norms and transitions from one thing to another
If it wasn't for a blog post on someone talking abut autism and him having a twin I never would have caught what was happening to my son that early. I'm so so grateful we caught it early
I'm thankful for early intervention, diet studies and the gospel that are giving me hope this week.
My one thought on this whole matter... I feel I need to express Because I'm an emotional person and I worry about this
Don't be afraid of my sonof talking to him- he might not look you in the eye quite yet but he's listeningHe's not that different from you and I.Don't be afraid to talk to me about it. In fact I'd love to tell you our storyI don't want to be stared at and pittied.I'd rather you think of my son as a blessinga blessing to teach me, us many people something about life.

a dear friend told me a story this week it struck a cord deep within my soul
It's like your on a trip to paris you've learned the language studied everything you get on the plane take the ride start to land and the pilot announces.....WELCOME TO HOLLAND!
Hmmm wasn't expecting Holland.. I'm a little sad.. but I bet Holland is beautiful too.And Johnson said to me Bree you see the beauty in so much This is probably why RaRa was sent to us. Life seems so much bigger already. I'm beginning to see things differently...and although I hurt a lot right now I know it will eventually be a huge blessing in my life.And we'll find bliss in the darkness
Thanks for the prayers we still need them the love the phone calls the foodWe love you all-the johnsons