Monday, April 20, 2009

{scared}





Today I start my full semester of hard classes- and I'm super worried about them. #1 I'm really worried about ignoring my boys to study and making sure they feel the love I have for them while I'm finishing school. I'm worried about keeping up. I'm already so busy with my boys. I basically have nap time to study and read and take quizzes and tests. I wouldnt be as worried but I'm starting to get to my harder classes. I have an accounting class and an economics class that are scaring me to death- the teacher wrote on our syllabus that if we didn't plan on having 16 hours of homework a week from this class we should drop it. I'm nervous.

My class on world religions/pakistan- has a ton of writing- and the technical citing of sources ect- which I find so tedious that everything has to be in the right exact spot with capitol letters and a comma- why can't we just say who helped write our paper with numbers at the bottom. Seems so much easier. I hate bibliography's. 

My d and c class is just a ton of reading-{ which makes it hard for me to concentrate- I'm so visual I find my self skipping over words because my mind wanders }  You basically read the d and c and the manual that goes along with it- answer questions and write summary's of what you've learned. I'm excited for this class because I'm a huge church history buff. I find it fascinating and love hearing the stories behind everything. 

My group communications class is already a lot of fun- but tons of it involves communication- so it requires me to look back and forth again and again waiting for other classmates responses-and responding to them- which is just time consuming- for our first activity - we had to take 3 pictures that made us feel emotion and tell everyone why they were so important and revoked such strong feelings- that my kind of class! School is exciting. I've always been excited to start on the first day of the semester. It's just a lot to juggle this time. I know it will be worth it to get done- I'm so close I can taste it. 

 I just can't give up and get frustrated. I guess I need to make a detailed calendar of every assignment test quiz due date,reading project. That should help to have it all in front of me. But I am nervous this won't be like last time. No Cori to take me to the snow shack when we got studied out- no watching friends till 3 am with emm- no sneaking back into our apt through the window and falling in the sink- no 80's dances to plan-no dam sliding with melissa- no burning couches- no maverick runs for hot coco with rachel anna tricia and laura-no plasma-with trev  time for treats! with brooke-no halo with the boys apt-no soccer with summer 04 friends-no running on campus and feeling such fresh air- no watching sachin hit spooner with his arms-no laughing till I cried- no puting a mask on a stick and raising it to people windows with rob-no singing disney songs out of our car with drew- no road kill finds with jules. No hot pepper challenges- no making our own movies-I miss being there a lot some days- I miss old roommates- they definitely made school funner-at least I still have that really handsome guy to distract me!  This will be a definite learning experience.
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9 comments:

  1. Bree, darling, you may not have those things but what you do have now is an extremely loving and supportive husband. Plus, you have a ton of new family and friends that will be praying for you. All you need are prayers and the faith that it will all be okay. You will do FANTASTIC girl! I'm so proud of you for taking such a huge leap and just know that you will do a great job at balancing everything. :) The Lord will bless you for sacrificing to better yourself and will help you more than you will realize with the boys. They are pretty lucky to have such an incredibly mommy!

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  2. I understand how you feel. When I went back after two years I felt like I was going to pee my pants or cry all day. ESPECIALLY because I was now at a university that was not BYU-I...You'll enjoy it though, it will probably be a nice break from the boys where you can explore yourself. I've been feeling very anxious about school fall semester with a brand new baby but in reality I think it would be harder to do it with year old babies. I admire you for what you are doing! With the D&C class, I would suggest downloading the whole book of scripture from lds.org and putting it on your ipod. That way you can listen while taking care of the boys and really be exposed to it a few times while still entertaining the troops. How many semesters do you have left? are you going through the summer time?

    You can do it woman!!!

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  3. When so many things are thrown our way, we sometimes feel overwhelmed and the need for balance becomes so important. You'll do great. Your boys are loved and they feel it everyday. Even if you have to take some extra time to study and write exams, that will never change. You have a ton of support from your friend and family. It will be a learning experience as you say...but you'll come out of it a "shinning star" (corny...i know :) haaha)

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  4. Bree, you will do awesome, I will be heading back probably in January scary I know, but hey why don't you plan to drop your boys off for one morning a week, and they can stay busy in the chaos that is my house, and then you can bring them home for some mommy lunch time, and then have more time while they nap in the afternoon. No problem for me, I will probably call you to talk. Good luck!

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  5. Thats an awesome idea about d and c on my i pod- i totally would not have thought about that! thanks my friend!

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  6. i too miss summer days in idaho! i miss you! and you'll do great balancing everything... i know you can do it!

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  7. we can make a whole lot of new fun together when we both need breaks! And remember, I'm only a few blocks away! And Livi is my little nanny! She loves your boys! Anytime you need a sitter or a friend... or someone to vent to ;) you know where I am!

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  8. It's true, it's not the same and it's just not as fun. I hope you find and do what you need to do to succeed! When I left BYUI campus and had 21 credits to finish up online, I had a detailed calender like you mentioned and I highly recommend it.

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  9. Bree...You are truly amazing! I can't believe your talents, and motivation! You'll do well, Brandon will be a great support, and remember, take one day at a time!

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