rough week

We had a rough week with harrison , it was back to school after almost a month of christmas break- and he has not been a happy camper going back to school, were talking full on meltdowns kicking me running to the back of the bus and hiding crying whining incessantly. On top of that coco was sick..then the boys.. I have more allergist appointments for harrison- we're transitioning into sunbeams at church- I have our social worker coming- to go over his therapy contract- to try and get into a program still..this has been a year of waiting-I'm getting so frustrated.  do you have any idea how many people I have to call to get anything to happen... 20 agencies that all want 10 papers faxed to them..trying to keep phone calls straight with what agency is calling, who I'm talking too... which program.. ok is this puff is this fscd is this the aid funding...its ridiculous... it feels like immigration all over again..He won't go to gym at school because he hates his shoes.. it just felt like one thing after another this week....and I'm tired.
and I sat on my bed.. and I cried..again..
because some days it's just a lot
and I opened my scriptures to Matthew 11
I started to read and at the end of the chapter I read this...and the spirit touched me.


Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.


I'm greatful for a Heavenly father who knows when I have bad days, and helps remind me that I'm not alone. That the saviour felt what I feel. And then I feel horrible that he had to feel what I'm feeling, and what everyone else feels. The love I have for the saviour, is so immense. I'm barley starting to grasp what the atonement was all about. And I just can't imagine going through life without knowledge of the plan of salvation.  And that I can ask for him to help take the burden off my heavy laden shoulders. And that if I have the faith he will help me, small and simple things will happen.

Getting Harrison to eat

isn't he a cutie
Well I've been reading a lot latley on things we can do to increase Harrisons odds of recovery..one is his diet..the only problem... kids on the spectrum are sensitive eaters....like picky eaters times 10.. sometimes they have issues with color or texture or smell being overwhelming- he only eats about 8 things. So taking him off gluten and dairy has been a struggle he got dark circles after 3 days and it scared me he was starving himself.. we went off for a solid month.. I saw improvement... but we also started some therapy stuff and scheduling.. so it's hard to tell if stuff works.. or If I'm imagining things. I'm going to take him to the peditrician to have him tested for food intolerances as well as myself... my dad is celiac so I know it's in the genes My son is going to make me the skinniest and most patient person ever I LOVE HIM! So if he does have sensitivities that will be the clencher as to whether I keep up with it. This week I let him have normal food again and he seems ok... 
Gosh this part is Hard not knowing if it's working or not I need the spirit to push me in the right direction. anyways I read a book about a mother who was trying to get her son to eat stuff.. he was also on the spectrum...a few tips I thought I'd share because they worked amazingly well tonight...
make the food interesting put it on an unexpected platedipping sauces do wondersarrange the food in a star shapefeed it to his trains firstfeed it to coco greyson and clap for them
The hard part of this therapy is when he has bad behavior instead of punishing or reacting like a normal parent would We have to ignore it. When we make a reaction to what he's doing he goes.. oh thats a funny face I guess I'll spill my milk again to get her to do the same thing. Vice versa when he does something good.. we have to almost overreact to it.. but be sincere... kids on the spectrum can tell when you are sincere or not. Good thing his mother is super animated it must be like watching a cartoon for him. HI I"M MOMMY THE TRAIN AND I"M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EATING POTATOES! YAY DO THE DANCE OF JOY!  Sooo while it looks like bad parenting it's actually teaching him to repeat the good thing he does and when he has bad behaviors.. theres not a reaction. make sense?totally changing my brain I'm telling youNot sure how this will work with greyson I might have to parent them totally differentlyI'm exhausted thinking about it. Makes me think about mothers I've seen though and now feel awful If I ever judged someone and didn't have the whole story they could've been doing aba therapy as well... and when you see someone ignoring there kids bad behavior you'd think they were just being lazy but for these kids it makes total sense. Thank you my son for opening my world about what other people may be going through and about judging others.
But dinner was lovelyhe was so interactive.. clapped showed me his stunning smileReally guys you need to see this kid smileIt's like you can see his spirit shine through himAnd I can feel it inside himHe's a strong onea fighter
I kept his attentionGreyson helped he clapped as well as cocoIt felt like a normal meal I loved just being with my familythen we went to the park.. there is still 3 feet of snow.. but we trudged through stroller and all.. the sun was out and I'm boycotting the worst winter of my life. I'm done
 We've also been working on eye contactthat alone is huge If he can get that .. meaningful relationships are possible in his life like getting married ect So I'm pushing the look at my eyes thing really hard.So while it's tiring and I wonder why it happened still.In my heart I know he needed an animated mother and a patient father.I know now why he is here with us. Things are starting to get clearer.Just praying his speech picks up soon.He said Greyson for the first time today I almost cried. But was more proud of him for getting the s sound

Starting Gluten Free Caisen Free Diet

So I took Harrison off all gluten and dairy 3 days ago...I can not believe what is happening to my babyHe's saying new wordsHe turns his head when I walk in the room Just like he used to doresponds to his name so much betterYou can not tell me that there is not something happening hereBut I'm scared 
Is he getting enough to eat is his body ok without these things?Then I have to think about yeast and artificial colors I've reasearched it for a while and decided... ]why wouldn't I try everything I can to help my child.. If he had an allergy I wouldn't let him have these foods would I? No No I wouldn't And while it sucks to see him cry when greyson eats pizza and he can't.. I feel like it's working and in the long run Id rather have my child speak to me. Heres a great artical I found on the matter. Now for me who is an ok cook I'm a little overwhelmed. I still think much prayer will be involved deciding what to do.. but I'm going to try it for 6 months very very strictly write everything down according to his behavior./what he ate that day. Say a prayer for me because I'm scared. and overwhelmed with this.heres the website I have looked all over for optimistic sites that help me as a parent to do something and I really like this website everyday autism miracles they have podcasts to listen to that I love..from a mother -just what I needed

When your child isn't meeting all of the their developmental markers it seems counter intuitive to take away their favorite foods, maybe even cruel.  It seems that way but it isn't.  The truth is that food is sometimes part of the problem.  If your child was recently diagnosed with Autism, you may have been told there are some dietary interventions that prove very effective with some children.  You may also have been told that it doesn't work for all kids, or even that it doesn't work at all.  I can't speak for all children, but as a parent I can tell you that my child started speaking again when we took milk and wheat in all forms out of his diet.  If that isn't compelling enough, it also changed his behavior so greatly that I was able to walk down the sidewalk and hold his hand for the first time.  It was so clear in our son's case that milk and wheat made his symptoms of Autism worse that we were highly motivated to keep it out of his diet.

I remember my mother saying to me, "Isn't he ever going to get to eat ice cream?"  I looked at my chubby cheeked three year old and told her, "He can have ice cream, he just won't be able to talk or communicate for days afterward.  Ice cream is great but I'm going to choose being able to talk over ice cream."  My mother looked like I'd slapped her, but she really "got it".  I'm sure kids who have peanut allergies wonder what it's like to have a peanut butter sandwich or to eat our without fear of contamination, but who would choose peanuts over breathing? Or ice cream over speaking.  In our case it was a no brainer.  Unfortunately, it isn't always as cut and dried with other kids.

There is one efficient way that I have found to predict if your child could benefit from one of the dietary interventions for Autism:  Look at what and how your child currently eats.  Is your child addicted to colorful candy?  They don't want to eat meals they just want to snack on colorful sweets?  Chances are that your child could benefit from a version of the Feingold Diet.  Does your child live on crackers and milk, or mac and cheese and chicken nuggets?  They don't want juice, but they crave milk?  Your child is a prime candidate to improve on the gluten free, casein diet.  Is your child in love with potatoes?  French fries for lunch, tater tots for dinner, mashed potatoes at restaurants and potato chips in the car? They don't want water, but they love juice and crave fruit of all kinds? Odds are your child could benefit from at least a modified version of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  Does it all sound scary and overwhelming to you?  You aren't alone.

 I'm here to help.

If you are dealing with diagnosis you are scared sad overwhelmed go to the link above.. 

please go.. as scary as it is to look at websites believe me I know I'm just barley feeling ok looking at websites it will help I promise